Embrace Peace is the topic for today. What are we truly searching for? Is it happiness, joy, bliss, or maybe it’s comfort, elation, or satisfaction? The meanings of a lot of those words overlap. I don’t feel like it’s normal to feel blissful all the time. Bliss is at the high end of the happiness scale. Then there’s contentment and peace and calm. That’s at a different place on the happiness scale. I believe, for most people, being calm and focused is part of being happy. I also think being calm and focused is part of having inner peace.
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What Are We Searching For?
During the holiday season, we hear a lot about peace. We notice the word in songs and movies and just as an expression when someone says, they just want to experience some peace in their lives.
Peace comes from within. As we learn how to find happiness and joy, we start to realize that inner peace is at the root of all the good feelings we’re looking for.
After interviewing over 750 guests for Mindfulness Mode, some common themes have started to become obvious. One of those themes is that if I am living with contempt for myself, at any level, it negatively affects everything about my life. It certainly affects how I treat others and how good I feel about my life.
Love Yourself?
I’m sure you’ve heard people say that ‘to truly love others, you have to love yourself’. When I first heard that, I thought it sounded strange, and I realize I’m not the only one who had this reaction. Whether you call it ‘loving yourself’, or ‘being positive about who you are’, or ‘avoiding self-bullying’, all of those perspectives are similar. To move towards a happier, more peaceful life, it’s necessary to start liking yourself, or loving yourself, as the phrase indicates.
One of the ways to start feeling more positive towards yourself is to feel and show compassion as much as possible, in as many circumstances as possible. One of my mantras is centred around seeing everyone and everything, with compassion. It’s easy to be compassionate about family members you love, or even random strangers. But try having compassionate thoughts about someone who hates you or has inflicted harm on you. That’s when it becomes challenging and requires daily practice.
Embrace Compassion
Once you can start to feel compassion even towards the most difficult people and situations, you will start to have more kind thoughts about yourself. If there is someone in the world who hates you, remember that the hate they hold is about them, not about you.
This is easy for me to say, but not as easy to truly grasp and live by if someone in your life hates you. A person who holds hate is filled with inner hate themselves and they don’t have any idea how to find inner peace and happiness because they are so filled with anger and hate.
What About Grief?
Let’s talk about grief. Grief can be overwhelming and can make you feel like there is no hope. Grief has to be embraced and we have to live with the pain and experience the darkness that grief brings. Some people sink deeply into their grief and take months or years to come out the other side.
Other people can experience grief for less time and then move forward. You’ve heard guests on the show talk about feeling the pain and moving toward the pain instead of trying to resist it. When you try to resist the pain, it lasts longer and can be more intense. Zig Ziggler was known to say, ‘What you resist, persists’.
Feeling Sad?
During this holiday season, you’ll hear all kinds of happy reminders of the season, including sleigh bells, cheerful song lyrics, partying, happy celebrations. Does all this ‘happiness’ make you sad or bring you down? That’s not unusual. You share this trait with hundreds and thousands of people.
Notice how you are feeling in your body about this happiness around you. Does it make you angry? Does it cause hurt and pain somewhere in your body? Narrow down the area of your body where you feel this pain and anguish. Close your eyes and think about the pain and anger in your body that is related to the happiness of the season you’re constantly being reminded of.
Body Scan
Now narrow that feeling down even more. Is it in your neck or shoulders? Is it in your chest? Maybe it’s in your gut or your lower back, or your knees? Do you feel an ache?
Take the time to do a body scan. Go to a safe, quiet place, close your eyes and begin to notice how you feel in each area of your body. Start with your head, your forehead, and your temples. Then move down your body and be aware of any pain or discomfort in each body location.
You can repeat this practice until you are aware of where the most pain resides in your body. If you meditate, this can be part of your meditation practice. You will become more and more aware of where the most pain and anger reside in your body. Allow yourself to move toward the pain. Embrace what your body is experiencing and focus on it.
Wishing You Peace
Spend time with others who have this sense of peace that I’m talking about. You’ll experience this in animals as well as humans. Other beings can be very calming and comfortable to be around, or some can have the opposite effect. Put some effort into being around those who are calm and peaceful and you’ll start feeling more calm and peaceful as well.
As we move through December, I wish you the very deepest level of peace that you can possible achieve, whatever PEACE means to you. It may be happiness, a form of bliss, a feeling of calmness or focus, but more than anything, I wish you peace.
Suggested Resources
- Book: The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace by Jack Kornfield
- Book: Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh
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 Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? Peace is within your grasp. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Transition' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life. |
