The topic today is hate. I’m going to be talking about how mindfulness can help diminish or remove hate. I’m going to talk about love and compassion and how they can replace hate. I did a search on my database of shows and found out that the word hate has never been used in any of my podcast titles. And that’s nearly 700 titles. I find that interesting. I’ve been thinking a lot about fear, anger and hate lately and how they are connected and I’ve come to the conclusion that hate is a huge problem in our world. Of course that's a huge understatement.
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If hate is such a huge problem, why do we want to avoid the subject so much? Surely someone would have come on my show and talked about hate to the extent that the word would have ended up in the title?
Attachment disorder is something that we’ve talked about quite a bit on the show. It causes a lot of problems with our mindset and our ability to have lasting relationships. My topic next week is going to be attachment disorder, so tune in next week for that episode.
Our inner bully causes all kinds of problems, and many of those problems boil down to fear and hate.
Is Your Ego Protecting You?
As you know, our ego is essentially trying to protect us, but sometimes it doesn’t do a very good job of that. Our ego can be shortsighted, and only think about protecting us now. It isn’t good at looking at our overall future and looking after us in the long run.
So here’s the reason I’m talking about hate today.
Growing Like Sourdough
I focus every day on including thoughts in my meditation like, I see God in everyone and everything, with compassion. I meditate on that phrase and think about compassion a lot. I believe if I hate something and entertain the thought of hating something, that hate is going to be like a sticky, dark substance, creeping within my body and brain. It will expand and grow like the sourdough starter we had a few weeks ago in our kitchen.
That’s how I think of hate. It’s very closely related to fear. It comes from fear. Fear stems from the unknown. It is a feeling of not knowing what’s coming next. Maybe I won’t be safe or maybe my family won't be safe.
Our ego wants us to be safe in every moment. Therefore, sometimes we have to step out of our safety-zone and do what feels dangerous. Doing that will cause us to grow, no matter what happens.
Living The Safe Life
But what if we never step out of our safety zone? What if we decide to live a life of constant safety, never taking any kind of risk?
For me that sounds like a prison sentence. Being locked up so you can never have freedom to do things that seem different, risky, unique.
Why Talk About Hate?
I still haven't told you why hate is on my mind.
Last Sunday, a family in our city of London Ontario, went out for a relaxing evening walk. Mom and Dad, grandma, and the two children, their son, 9 and daughter 15.
They never returned home because a hate-filled man saw them on the sidewalk and killed them.
He didn’t shoot them. That might have happened in some places, but gun violence is not big here. He didn’t stab them or throw a grenade.
He saw them as he was driving his pickup truck down the street and he deliberately ran them down, killing 4 of them and injuring the 9 year old boy.
Police immediately stated that this was a deliberate hate crime against those people because of their culture and religion.
I am well aware that in some parts of the world, violence, bombing, and killing, against people because of their faith and culture, is fairly common. But it’s not common in Canada.
In fact, many people in the world think of Canada as peace loving and peace keeping. For years, people in war torn countries have emigrated to Canada, believing it’s a safe country to come to.
I certainly feel safe here in Canada, but I’m horrified to think of the hate that would cause a man to deliberately attack and kill an innocent family, a muslim family.
We don’t know a lot of details yet, but we know it was a hate crime. I feel so much pain about this. And this kind of hate and anger is directly connected to mindfulness.
When you begin to explore mindfulness, you begin to notic e your emotions. Maybe you’ve been suppressing them for years, maybe you don’t know why you have outbursts, or why you have listed you adult life being addicted to cocaine, or meth. Maybe you only know how to make endless money with what you do, but you don’t know how to relate to people, or keep a happy relationship working in your life. Maybe for you, it’s the opposite, you can’t seem to make money no matter what you do, and you can figure out why those around you have no trouble keeping a flow of money into their life, but you feel like money is a constant struggle.
Fear's Nasty Cousin
All of this boils down to fear. And fear expresses itself as anger.
If people that I see in my community chose to wear different clothes from me, maybe a turban, or a hijab, so what. We live in a free world. Why shouldn’t people be free to practice whatever religion they want? Why shouldn’t people be able to dress how they want and not feel that they’ll be judged by others, and possibly attacked or killed?
Homophobia has been a big part of our world, certainly in many areas. Sometimes it’s hidden and sometimes it’s out in the open. There are people who disown their child when they find out they are gay. People who are gay should be able to live their life as they want and not feel scared every time they go out in public.
The same is true for Jews, or Hindus, or Muslims, or Christians or other groups who are peace loving.
You might remember me mentioning that I was a full-time music teacher, then worked for over 10 years in bullying prevention. Sometimes I do substitute teaching. Because we’ve welcomed many people here to Canada, I often have lots of children from many cultures. Sometimes three quarter of the class or more are from foreign countries. You know what? They are loveable, kind, precious people who deserve to be safe in our country.
Feelings of hate that people have, go back to anger.
I used to think that words like homophobia, and zenaphonia were so strange because we know the word phobia refers to a fear of something.
Now I realize that fear is the root emotion of hate. Hate is formed out of fear and there is massive amount of hate in the world.
Obviously, this is not new. We know that hate is a problem, but the thing is, hate erodes your own opinion of yourself. Rather, if you have a low opinion of yourself, fear and hate is a product of that. Fear comes out of self-loathing.
Are You Enough?
That’s why I talk about self-bullying so much. It’s wide-spread. So many people suffer because they don’t believe they are ‘enough’. They believe there is something wrong with them. Have you ever wondered what’s wrong with you? Just take a minute and be honest with yourself. Have you ever had moments when you thought, I just can’t figure out how to be happy. Or I don’t know why I can’t have a great relationship with someone. Maybe, like I said earlier, your problem has to do with anxiety, depression, addiction of some kind, or even that constant inner voice telling you you’re a loser.
All of these problems are related to your Inner Bully. And all of these problems can be reversed and helped with hypnosis because hypnosis is about reaching your emotions, examining what thoughts you’ve attached to events in your life, and going back and changing those thoughts. It’s about your conscious and sub-conscious mind.
I said all those problems can be reversed, but I want to make something clear. Those problems can only be reversed if you want that for yourself. You have to want to change and want to become different. And the amount of WANT is important. If you’re just a little ho-hum, a bit wishy-washing about wanting a change, it’s likely not going to happen, even with hypnosis.
How Deep's Your Passion?
My most successful clients, are people who came to me after trying so many methods to change. They’ve read books, listened to podcasts, tried new habits, got close to nature, taken supplements, but it was hypnosis that made the difference. That’s because those people were passionate about wanting to change their lives. And I mean passionate with a capital P.
Sometimes I explained that we’d possibly be going back to relive some tough moments in their lives, or we’d have to revisit some hurtful or angry times in their lives.
My successful clients were people who responded by saying, ‘Let’s Do It’. Where do I sign up?
Why, Why, Why?
I don’t know why that 20 year old guy in my city would have so much anger against Muslims, that he would plan to kill an innocent family. I can only imagine that it’s all about xenophobia.
This attacker is almost the same age as my own son. I went to the funeral yesterday for the four family members that were killed. I wanted to show my support as a Canadian who believes there’s no room for hate in our hearts. There’s only room for love and compassion.
The funeral was about love and compassion and one of the statements that was made was as they prayed for the surviving 9 year old boy, was that “all hatred and resentment would be removed from his heart”.
If we vow to bring love and compassion into our heart, then hate will diminish. Hate will be cornered out.
I want to send as much love and light as possible into the heart of the 20 year old man who did this, and his family. I can’t even imagine the torture his twin sister and his family must be experiencing.
Obviously this will go to trial and information will come out. I only know what has been released in the media.
Thoughts From Our Leader
Prime Minister Trudeau came to London and spoke to Canadians about hate and how “we can and we must act … to confront the ugly face of hatred. I want all Canadians to know that we are all diminished when any one of us is targeted. We need to stand up and reject racism and terror and work together to embrace what makes our country strong – our diversity.”
I’m glad our Prime Minister has addressed this act of terrorism the way he has and I just hope that serious work will be done by the government to address this problem of hate and of racist, xenophobic attitudes and behaviours.
Where Is The Answer?
As a mindfulness teacher and coach, I believe the answer to this problem lies within each of us. It has to start with me, with every one of us. What are my thoughts, my views, my opinions? What is the internal dialogue going on in my own mind? Am I listening to the voice of my inner bully? Am I strong enough to change this dialogue?
What I’ve found out from you, Mindful Tribe, is that a lot of us are frustrated and suffering. We want to be strong and deal with our inner bully, deal with our addiction, or our loneliness, or whatever other problem may seem central in your life.
We Must Help Each Other
We have to help each other. Some of us have skills we can use to help others have a more contented and happy life. I’m grateful and honoured to be able to help so many people through challenges.
Maybe you’re experiencing fear, frustration, and maybe a specific challenge like I’ve mentioned. Maybe you’ve been putting it off and haven’t found the courage to reach out. I would say to you, this is your time. Be strong, make up your mind to set up a 30 minute call with me to find out if you're a candidate for hypnosis. Email me at bruce@MindfulnessMode.com and we’ll talk about how hypnosis, combined with my coaching will be the key to transition your life from frustration, to contentment and happiness. This is your time. I’ll tell you about some of my clients who are now experiencing a sense of freedom and peace in their lives as a result of the hypnosis sessions they've experienced.
You Are A Gift
Bring more love into your heart. Start with you. You are a gift from the universe and the more you believe that, the more compassion you’ll have for yourself. And the more compassion you have for yourself, the less room you’ll have in your heart for hate and negativity. Contentment is possible for you. Right now you may think it couldn’t happen, but it can. It’s up to you to make up your mind to do the work, make a change, and move forward.
Trudeau is right. We must confront the ugly face of hatred. And if hate is living within your heart, that hate is eating away at you. It’s a negativity that doesn’t belong there.
Make up your mind to make a change. Live with mindfulness, welcome nature, and meditation, and confront your inner bully in the many ways we address here on the show.
Thanks for listening. Peace be with you.
- Book: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
- Book: The Art of Living: Peace and Freedom in the Here and Now by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Book: Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg and Jon Kabat-Zinn
- App: Insight Timer
- 165 Be Real, Raw, Honest and Mindful Recommends Dr Ed Osburn
- 228 Fear Is Not Real Explains Salt Water Buddha Author Jaimal Yogis
- 328 Discover The Secret Behind Magical Success; Sylvia Becker-Hill
|Have you been trying to break through a mind block? Are you discouraged? It’s not hopeless. YOU CAN DO IT. I coach people just like you. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing hypnotist, and I love to help people just like you! Feel good about your life and accomplishments. Regain confidence. Book a Free Consultation to get you on the road to being grounded and centered. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org with ‘Love and Compassion' in the subject line.|