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Feb. 20, 2023
Transform Resistance In Conversational Spaces; Denise Blanc
Denise Blanc teaches leaders and their teams to communicate with courage, candor, and authenticity using the latest information from emotional intelligence, neuroscience, and cross-cultural communication. Her tools have provided the skills needed for leaders to tackle tough conversations, harness a growth mindset, and create high trust and high-performing collaborative cultures.
Her book, “RiverLogic: Tools to Transform Resistance and Create Flow in all of our Relationships” brings together some of the best thinking across the domains of neuroscience, mindfulness, and emotional intelligence into a single work. She teaches how to live in the presence of conflict – fluidly, with insight, caring, and skill. Therefore
- Website: www.riverlogictools.com
- Book: Riverlogic: Tools to Transform Resistance and Create Flow in all of our Relationships
- I do a lot of digging about what I'm feeling. And it's usually never one thing. It's usually many things. So there's a term and emotional intelligence, or neuroscience, feel it to heal it.
- Therefore there's the feeling of it, and then there's the naming of it, name it to tame it. So I do both. I focus on what it is and feeling it, you know, what in my body, like, where is it? Am I tracking it somatically? Therefore
- One of the things that I teach and that I practice is what I call pattern interrupts. A pattern interrupt doesn't have to take a long time. What I encourage people to do and I do is three conscious breaths throughout my day, if I can remember to. When I have more time, I do other practices.
- Breath is huge for me, just really calming down using kind of the Andrew Weil is the 478 technique four inhale seven, hold, eight, exhale. Therefore
- Book: Meditation: How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind By Pema Chödrön
- Book: Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory By Deborah Dana
- Book: Blue Mind: The Surprising Science That Shows How Being Near, In, On or Under Water Can Make You Happier, Healthier, More Connected, and Better at What You Do By Wallace J. Nichols
- I have a coaching client who was brought to me because he had issues. It might be called bullying, or he had very little ability to react. He came across as a bully with people who were his subservience whether it was a staff or student. I was just starting to work with him, and he did it to me. I had asked him to do a number of things as part of our coaching agreement. I asked him to do a lot and he was a busy guy. And what I got back was intense. Therefore
- I was thinking, I just blew it with a coaching client. And I had to work by myself. So when talking about mindfulness, what I do is, swim. So I went swimming, and intense exercise is often one thing I will do when I'm feeling it. And then I had to talk to myself about that. And once I started talking to myself, and kind of calming down, I went, that was kind of amazing that this happened, if I'm his coach, I got an experience of it. Yes.
- So we were able to talk about it in our next session from me being more present and grounded and having to apologize to him because I realized I was asking a lot, but also for him to see. I asked him, What was your intention? And what you said to me in that email, he said, Well, it was very unfair what you were doing. And I said, would you like to know what the impact of that was? He said I guess. So I said, on a scale of one to 10, that's probably nine for me. So it actually began a real conversation. I mean, I think that was the moment he started to trust me. But those are skills that I now have that I didn't have when I was young. So